Feeling drained by constant communication stress with your ex? You’re not alone. Many separated parents struggle with blurred boundaries, unclear expectations, and a constant sense of being “on call.”

But boundaries aren’t about being cold or confrontational. They’re about clarity. And clarity is kind — for you, your co-parent, and your child.

In this post, you’ll find five clear, compassionate scripts to help you set boundaries that reduce conflict and protect your peace. Use them as-is or adapt to fit your voice. And if you want deeper support, grab our free Boundary Script Templates at the end of this post.

 

Why Boundaries Matter in Co-Parenting

When boundaries are unclear, resentment builds. One parent might feel overwhelmed; the other may feel confused or shut out.

Boundaries create a framework. They help both parents feel more secure in their roles, reduce the risk of conflict, and give children a calmer, more consistent environment.

Remember: boundaries aren’t rules for other people. They’re guidelines for how you will respond, in order to protect your peace and parenting focus.

 

How to Use These Scripts

• Keep them short, calm, and clear.
• Use “I” statements to express needs, not blame.
• Practice ahead of time so you’re not caught off-guard.
• Deliver them by text or voice — whatever works best for you.

 

5 Scripts That Actually Work

1. When plans change last-minute

“I understand things come up. Going forward, I need at least 24 hours’ notice for changes to our schedule. It helps keep things calm and consistent for [child’s name].”

Why it works: Sets a clear expectation without attacking. Centres the child.

 

2. When criticism creeps in

“I hear that you see things differently. I’m happy to discuss things that directly affect [child’s name], but let’s keep it focused on moving forward.”

Why it works: Interrupts the pattern of criticism and keeps the conversation purposeful.

 

3. When communication gets reactive

“Let’s pause here and talk tomorrow when things are calmer. I’ll be available after 5pm.”

Why it works: Models emotional regulation and creates a boundary around when and how communication happens.

 

4. When parenting decisions are made without you

“Thanks for the update. In future, can we agree to talk through these things in advance? I’d like to stay informed and involved.”

Why it works: Keeps the tone collaborative but clearly requests more inclusion.

 

5. When boundaries keep getting crossed

“I’ve mentioned this before and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’d like us to agree on a clear plan so we both know what to expect. I’m open to mediation if that would help.”

Why it works: Names the pattern, sets a limit, and offers a constructive next step.

 

Practice Makes Peace

If these scripts feel awkward at first, that’s OK. They’re new tools. Say them aloud. Write them down. Keep a few in your phone notes.

Remember: boundaries aren’t walls. They’re bridges to calmer, more respectful communication.

 

Want Support Setting Calm, Confident Boundaries?

Download our free Boundary Script Templates — with bonus examples and fill-in-the-blanks to help you feel more prepared, less reactive, and more in control.

Ready to go deeper? The Co-Parent Way programme gives you personalised tools to reduce conflict, regulate emotions, and show up with calm clarity for your child.

[Link to lead magnet + programme page]

 

You deserve a co-parenting setup that feels fair, respectful and peaceful. And your child deserves parents who can work together with calm clarity.

Try one script. Start there. It might change more than just the conversation.