If you’ve ever collapsed into bed after a long day of parenting and thought, “Why am I so tired,  even when nothing big happened?”,  this blog is for you.

Co-parenting doesn’t just demand your time and energy. It demands your emotional labour and that’s often the most draining part.

What is the emotional load of co-parenting?

It’s the constant thinking, worrying, pre-empting, smoothing over, and feeling that goes hand-in-hand with raising a child alongside someone you’re no longer in a relationship with.

It is:

• Bracing yourself for every message from your ex
• Managing your child’s emotions during handovers
• Taking the high road (again) so things don’t escalate
• Absorbing your co-parent’s unpredictability to protect your child
• Feeling like you can never fully switch off

Even when the day looks “fine” on paper, your nervous system might be working overtime just to keep things steady.

Why is it so exhausting?

Because you’re carrying both the visible and invisible work:

✅ Visible: the school admin, the schedules, the pickups, the packed lunches.
🧠 Invisible: the emotional climate, the stress management, the conflict avoidance, the weight of “being the bigger person.”

Your brain is constantly scanning for threats or tension, even when things are calm. That’s emotional labour, and it’s not sustainable without support.

3 ways to lighten the emotional load

1. Separate what’s yours from what’s theirs
   You can’t control your ex’s behaviour, but you can control your boundaries. A simple mantra like “Their chaos is not mine to carry” can be grounding in moments of tension.
2. Build in emotional resets
   After every handover or difficult interaction, give yourself 10 minutes to come back to calm, whether that’s deep breathing, movement, or journaling. Don’t let the stress follow you through the day.
3. Zoom out when things feel overwhelming
   In the moment, co-parenting stress can feel all-consuming. But taking a wider lens can help you reconnect with what really matters: your relationship with your child, and your own wellbeing.

Our free Seeing the Bigger Picture tool is designed to help with exactly that, download it now

You don’t have to carry it all alone

The emotional load of co-parenting is real. But you can learn to carry it differently — with tools, support, and strategies that lighten the pressure.

💛 If you’re ready to feel more steady, even when your co-parent isn’t, download our free resource packs: Seeing the Bigger Picture + Managing Strong Emotions.